Have you ever had one of those days where you just want to quit? Of course you have, everyone does. Tuesday I was so exhausted, in absolutely no mood to go to the gym, but as I do most days I forced myself. JUST DO IT. I’m driving to the gym and I’m literally almost falling asleep at the wheel. I swear I almost turned the car around about 5 times. I finally make it, and the only reason why is because on Tuesdays at my gym (equinox merrick park) is my favorite class of the whole week. It’s really not working out; it’s a relaxing type of yoga class. But it’s great if you’re sore from past workouts and it motivates me to go and do spinning or some other type of cardio after the class is done. The teacher that does the class is probably the best part about the class, she’s great and she gets it. The week before there was a sub and I was already sitting there with my mat, so not to be rude I stayed and endured the sub's class, which of course did not compare to our amazing teacher. This week I decided I would not be fooled twice. I wait outside the class until I see who the teacher is going to be and low and behold it’s a sub again. I was so mad I really just wanted to get out of the gym and go home. I was not going to take that class again with a sub, because honestly it’s not the same its not even close. So I say to myself “No Vanessa, you’re here already do some cardio". I walk upstairs to get my headphones and guess what.... the buds to my headphones have fallen out and I can’t find them anywhere!!!! I don’t know if you believe in signs but do you need anymore sings from the universe telling you maybe today is just not your day. Feeling guilty from weekend eatings I don’t go home, and I force myself on the elliptical for the bear minimum of 30 minutes of cardio. With no music. It was the worst workout ever. This only shows me the next time I feel like turning around and going home to take a nap while I'm driving to the gym, I’m going to do it!

my love for you

THE MAGNIFICENCE THAT IS GLEE! O-M-G! Let me share a little bit of the reasons why I am oh so in love, so infatuated/obsessed with all that is Glee. Now I have to be honest when I first heard about Glee I was…a hater (so embarrassed). I wanted nothing to do with Glee, I felt it was going to be another show that tried to be like high school musical (which I am so not a fan of). Boy was I mistaken. It all started when I was watching the golden globes this past spring, the cast of Glee caught my attention like no show had done since Mad Men won their first globe three years ago. How genuinely happy and humble these young people looked while they were being interviews, doing press, and receiving their award kind of made me want to fall in love with them. Still I was so caught up watching other TV (mostly junk) it kept slipping my mind to put glee on my season pass manager on TiVo. Until I go to my boyfriend's sister graduation, and her room mate has the latest episode of glee on their TiVo, with not much else to do, we saw Glee. I have never turned back!!! It is beyond amazing, yes its in high school but the topics they do each episode are topics that any person can familiarize with, doesn’t matter if you are 16 or 86. You’ve been there, you associate yourself with the Glee club members, and who doesn’t love an underdog?!?!? Don’t let Glee fool you though, these beautiful high schoolers have never really been underdogs. The show is a hit, beyond a hit it’s a gold mind. Every song glee re-makes shoots up to the top of the itunes list. Rumors are there’s a tour being planned for next summer, and this person right here plans to be dancing front and center. It’s a phenomenon and I am sad I wasn’t a fan from day one. But I am more than a fan now, and this fan is beyond ecstatic fox is replaying the show from the beginning every Thursday this summer. I get to fall in love with Glee from the beginning like I always should have.

How Old am I?

My birthday is about two and half weeks away and the month of June is being kind of an emotional one for me. As I get to the tail end of my 20s I can’t help but think that nothing has turned out how I thought it would. I can’t really place my finger on what it is. Truthfully, I never really thought I would be married by now, and I definitely never thought I would have had children before I was 30 but something is missing. Maybe its a lack of change I feel like I need something to force some type of change in my life. Though, I have had ALOT of change in last couple of years. Hmm, this is what I mean, I cant exactly place my finger on it, maybe its just aging. For some reason I am very emotional about turning twenty-eight. I have been thinking all week about what can possibly make me feel better about this situation, but I have yet to find the solution. Life is hard, and when you’re young you don’t want to believe it, but it is. I remember when older people would say to me "what id give to be twenty-two again" or "if I only knew then what I know now" we’ve all heard them. When I was young(er) I use to think “ok crazy person leave me alone”, but it is so TRUE. I don’t want to be twenty-two, that is for sure, I love my age. There is something so beautiful about aging and realizing what is truly important to you, what makes you genuinely happy, and evolving into a real adult. Though, I have to admit I do kind of wish I knew when I was twenty-two what I know now. YES, I do.

How Insensitive

Do you ever catch your self mentally censoring what comes out of your mouth? Lately i have found myself doing this more and more. Today a thought came to my mind ... what if i stop and say whatever the hell i want to whomever i please. What a free way to live life. Some people really deserve some things to be said to them, but most of the time i try to put my trust in the universe and hope that they will either learn it on their on or it will come back to them somehow. Every day i encounter so many rude, entitled people. And aren't the people that have this entitlement the worse type of people? Well I'm getting stronger every day, and I'm forewarning that I'm sorry if one of these days i just stop censoring myself because the older i get the less i care about what people think.

The Good Life

What is it that makes the majority of all girls i know obsessed with the entire Real Housewives Franchise on Bravo. How many are there now? New York, New Jersey, OC, Atlanta, and coming soon Miami, Washington and Hollywood, I've heard all rumored. WOW. Pretty soon bravo is going to have to give them their own channel. The Real Housewives Channel. I would love it, not only would i love it but i would be hooked 24 hrs a day. What is it about these woman that has us so enthralled? Is it their lifestyles? their beautiful houses and beautiful cars? Their husbands that pretty much put up with all their ridiculous behavior and outlandish antics. Is it the summers in the Hamptons, the private yachts on St. Martin. I could go on. The white range rovers? $4,000 + designer purses and shoes? The luxury to wake up one morning and say hey today ill start a clothing company, and I'm going to name is V by Vanessa (joke), basically I'm going to copy all my favorite designers and call the designs my own. (if you watch I'm pretty sure you can figure out who from Atlanta is doing this) It seems like these woman live the life and of course anyone would love to watch and envision that life for themselves one day. But as my momma always taught me the grass might look greener on the other side but it probably isn't. And who knows whats going on behind those closed doors. Poor Tamara and her psycho husband.  Nonetheless these woman are extraordinary to watch i love every second of it and i can not wait for more.

On a side note when you watch the show you see the same old game that woman have been playing with each other for years. The cliques, the we like you we don't like you, the sides. It's sad that woman have to gang up on each other this way. If we supported each other more and were nicer to each other i cant even imagine the things we would accomplish. I've experienced this is my life and i saw it my mom's and i hear about it from other friends, ay woman when will you learn that we are not the enemy.

April Played a Fiddle

A whole month and a day since my last entry, some would think that I have abandoned the blog world. The truth is simply that April was a hectic busy month. The month started off with a chaotic yet entertaining trip to Bimini. After that it was New York City and then finished up with a trip to Tallahassee for a graduation. I know...it’s a hard knock life, but hey someone’s got to do it. I seriously feel like I have not had one second to breathe at home.


At the same time I have been tormented over this whole ordeal that I am going through with my lease. OMG, this is the third time that I will be turning in a lease, and the fourth time I will be entering into a new one, and never in my life has it been this hard. The news speaks about this country being in a recession and car companies going out of business, one would think they would be so desperate to make a deal. I have one thing to say about that, it’s a LIE. BULLSHIT (sorry), but it's the truth. These car dealerships do not care to make a deal or be cooperative. They only care about taking you for all you are worth. Thank God I started looking early; I don’t need to turn my car in until June 7. Not that this really matters because I have no miles left in my lease, so essentially I can't even drive my car. The monthly payments that these dealers are asking for, wow, you would think I was trying to lease a Bentley or a Range Rover. It’s so discouraging I almost want to give up and just walk to work every day. Only possible if I lived in NYC, but I live in Miami and a car here is absolutely necessary. I will stay strong, at least I have time on my side, and I will not pay a ludicrous monthly payment. As a warning to all car salesmen out there call me sweetie or hunny one more time and I might file a sexual harassment suit. Basically, this whole car thing is the only thing I have been thinking about the past two weeks but I do see a small light at the end of the tunnel and hopefully it will be over soon…for the next 3.

I Am Loved

I have known this for a very long time, but more than ever this weekend I have learned once again that the most important things in life are Family and Old Friends. Where would I be with out my family? That’s a scary question and I think the answer is living a very sad and lonely life. Like I'm sure any other family we are not perfect, we fight. But we make up very fast as though nothing ever happened. I love holidays and this Easter was just as special as any other because I had my family to spend it with. I just want to put it out there in the universe how truly thankful I am for them I know I don’t show it every single day so it’s important that every once in a while I do show it and say it.

Old Friends. I don’t mean new friends that you just made that are fun...you know for a good time. I mean those friends that have been with you through years and years through your worst and your best. I am fortunate enough to have a few very special friends like that in my life and I want to say thank you to them for everything. For cheering me up and making me happy when I needed it the most. For calling me out, when I've needed to be called out on. And for telling me how it is, because who else is going to tell me? I love and I appreciate you very much.

I am in a very content mood today, not too happy and not somber, just content. Happy to have what I have and to be where I am and excited/scared to see what the future brings. I know, though, that no matter what that future is, scary or good, I have my family and my old friends, and not everyone can say that. So I am very lucky and very blessed.