Friday, June 18, 2010

How Old am I?

My birthday is about two and half weeks away and the month of June is being kind of an emotional one for me. As I get to the tail end of my 20s I can’t help but think that nothing has turned out how I thought it would. I can’t really place my finger on what it is. Truthfully, I never really thought I would be married by now, and I definitely never thought I would have had children before I was 30 but something is missing. Maybe its a lack of change I feel like I need something to force some type of change in my life. Though, I have had ALOT of change in last couple of years. Hmm, this is what I mean, I cant exactly place my finger on it, maybe its just aging. For some reason I am very emotional about turning twenty-eight. I have been thinking all week about what can possibly make me feel better about this situation, but I have yet to find the solution. Life is hard, and when you’re young you don’t want to believe it, but it is. I remember when older people would say to me "what id give to be twenty-two again" or "if I only knew then what I know now" we’ve all heard them. When I was young(er) I use to think “ok crazy person leave me alone”, but it is so TRUE. I don’t want to be twenty-two, that is for sure, I love my age. There is something so beautiful about aging and realizing what is truly important to you, what makes you genuinely happy, and evolving into a real adult. Though, I have to admit I do kind of wish I knew when I was twenty-two what I know now. YES, I do.

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